why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
