Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
