that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
