is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
