He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
