Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
