if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
