how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
