i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
