Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
