I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
