i think my mom watched the whole time
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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