what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
