She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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