When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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