history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
