I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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