Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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