Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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