When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
