i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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