Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
