i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
its liver damage thursday
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