But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
