we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
