In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
