you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
