Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
