It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
