Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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