So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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