I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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