Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
