I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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