her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
