Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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