i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
