She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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