i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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