you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
