What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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