And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
