u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
