remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize