Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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