Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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