YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
