What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Green mimosas i think yes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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