some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
