Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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