I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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