Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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