the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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