Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
