Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
