im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just gargled with NyQuil
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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