Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
is it fun? or sober?
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