I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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