You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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