I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I looked at my own cervix.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
