Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
