well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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