if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
