i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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