We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize