I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is it penis luge time yet?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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