we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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