The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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