I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
