Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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