whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
