Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
