I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
