Her vagina should come with caution tape.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
