We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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