my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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