i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
