somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
