My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize